You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
Is jealous or possessive toward you. Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of sexual addictions and Love Addiction.
Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
Is violent and/or loses his or her temper quickly.
Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.
Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.
Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
Has a history of traumatic relationships without ownership or understanding that there is a better way to live.
Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, whether privately or around family and friends.
Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.
Does the person you love.....
If this is familiar, you may need assistance.• constantly keep track of your time?
• act jealous and possessive?
• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
• discourage your relationships with friends and family?
• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
• constantly criticize or belittle you?
• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.
• humiliate you in front of others?
Including "jokes" at your expense. • destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?
• have affairs?
• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets?
• threaten to use a weapon?
• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?
• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?
Many don't know what a healthy relationship looks like.
The Characteristics of healthy relationships are often not what we grew up observing.
Abusive relationships will hinder your ability to succeed, recover and develop a relationship with yourself.
The first step is to break the silence. Your silence will not protect you.
Be very careful when ending an abusive relationship. 90% of all abusive domestic violence relationships escalate to violence with threat of breakup. Make a safety plan, tell people around you, use cameras if you live alone, and don't be afraid to get a restraining order before leaving.
Couples acknowledging a problem have many resources available to learn a better way of loving.